I'm home. I don't even know what to say besides I'm home. I feel so centered and at peace right now that it's sort of hard to put into words. I could cry from contentment. Is that weird?
Being gone for a month has provided me with so much knowledge I would have never learned otherwise. It's weird going from being almost always alone in a small apartment to a million states away with two other people always around. The only time I was really alone was in the shower. Meeting the guys off Tinder was fun and it made for good stories, but oh my god-- I LOVE being alone! I love it. I'm so happy with being alone. I can't speak for everyone, but for me, that realization that being alone doesn't mean you're lonely has brought me incredible peace. There's a quote from a book I read that's always stuck with me. It says:
“Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.”
I couldn't agree more. I'm so thankful for the time I spent with Brandon and Mikelle. I could never repay them for the lessons I've learned and the amazing experiences I shared with them. I'm so ready to move forward. I'm so happy.
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