A while back, I was talking to my friend Kaitlyn about my blog and she asked me if I had ever heard the word, "Bildugsroman". Of course, I said no. How has anyone heard of that word? By definition, "bildungsroman" means a certain kind of writing dedicated to describing a young protagonist's growth in maturity and development. I think that describes perfectly what my blog is all about. It's all about my own personal growth. I think sometimes I hit too deep when I write and other times I write too close to the surface, but when I get it just right my readers really connect with me, which is why they keep reading. I've been thinking about that word a lot and what it means and how it connects to me, and it's made me reflect on the past five months.
In February I ended a serious and very toxic relationship. By June I had quit my full time job, moved out of my apartment, and spent a month in Chicago. From there, I came home to finish up some things and then decided to move back to Arizona. It's all happened so fast I feel like I've grown as my own person more than ever. Every day I see myself getting more and more comfortable in my own skin and beliefs. I know what to look for in friends and relationships, I know how and when to say "no", and I can fully admit to not knowing shit about the world and/or life. But I do know a lot about my own self.
These past five months have forced me to see myself for who I really am, even if it's just the beginning. I've learned that loving myself is the absolute most important thing for me to be doing right now. I've learned that change is good and it's so incredibly crucial that you subject yourself to it. You grow so much if you surrender to change. It's scary at first, but if you can push through the uncomfortable part of it, you'll fall in love with it. I know I have.
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