Loving Myself

For a few weeks now I've thought about the importance of loving myself. In fact, I've thought about it so much that I don't ever really remember not thinking about it. The only reason I do know that thinking to love myself is a brand new idea is that fact that I've had people walk all over me my entire life. If I had loved myself a little more I don't think that would have happened as much.

Anyone who knows me knows that I go with the flow. I'm easy going and if you want to go to the mall but I want to go to the movies, we'll always end up going to the mall. I'm just that way. I like making people happy. I feel more happy if the other person I'm with is happy. So, I always do what someone else wants me to do. However, lately it's been brought to my attention that I don't like my personality or my body or my looks or my brains. Why is that? Who am I? Why do so many people enjoy my company but I can't even look myself in the eye when I stare in the mirror? It's because I don't love me. Why don't I love me? I'm not sure, but I do know that I need to fix this ugly habit NOW. I'm 20. I have to now. It's important for every relationship I have, whether it be with my mom, dad, boyfriend, roommate, whatever.

So, I broke things off with Joe today. After a year and a half of being exclusive. After almost 10 years being good friends. I decided to call it quits for the time being. And yeah, I could go in to all the things Joe could do different, but really for the first time, it's mostly all about me. I want to learn to love myself. I want to learn to set boundaries and be confident. And right now I just don't know how to do that and I think mine and Joe's relationship would have gone a lot smoother if I did know how to do that.

I'm sad. I lost my best friend. I love him so much. And I'm really hoping that we can pick things up when we've both grown a little more. But, until then, wish me luck. I'm doing this all on my own now. I read in an article by Ryan O'Connell. It's a really great piece that I have to admit I sort of agree with:
"Growing up, I thought falling in love was just something people did to distract themselves from dying. It was like getting a tattoo; having a boyfriend or a girlfriend was a way of branding yourself and letting people know that you were valued and that you were important. There was something inside of you that made you better than the average person."

It sucks, but I think that people my age totally fit this description. You shouldn't feel better than the average person just because you have someone to hold at night. THAT IS NOT WHAT DEFINES YOU.



If you want to read the full thing follow this link: http://thoughtcatalog.com/ryan-oconnell/2013/01/the-way-you-should-love-someone/