The past week or two has been really rough on me and my family. There's been some health concerns with my close family members and it's really stirred everyone up. Out of respect for them, I won't go in to detail. It has been really hard on me because I've never lost anyone that I've been close with that's blood related to me, so I'm not really sure what to expect as I venture into this part of my life-- the getting older part. Because, along with myself growing older (something I openly welcome), so do all my loved ones. And that can be the worst thing. I understand that everyone dies, but that's hard for me to learn to accept. Though I am a huge advocate for "quality of life", it doesn't mean I don't want them to try to stay alive as long as possible.. so there's a weird toss up there that's hard for me to grasp.
Because of the stress with my family, I've been binge eating and slacking on my exercise. Tonight was the first night I got back into my exercise routine since about 5 days ago and it kicked my ass, but I'm proud of myself for jumping back in despite the personal circumstances. I think it helps with my stress levels a lot, too.
Love life is still the same--- I'm focusing on me. I'm becoming more and more in love with myself and it's really helped with my loneliness. A couple guys have shown interest in me, though, and that's been fun. It's still nice to know you're "wantable" for lack of a better word.
I bought a palm reading book and I've been super in to that the past few days. Not that I think that it holds 100% truth, but it's fun for me to focus on a hobby like that.
Overall, I'm doing okay. I'm pretty shaken up about my family and I'm kind of a bowl of mush when it comes to them. I think the ultimate thing I'm learning is that, despite all the chaos around me, I need to remember to focus on my own health and mental state before I can even begin to help others. It's also an important reminder to call your loved ones when a thought passes by of them. I can't stress that enough. Let people know they're loved.
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